I just wanted to put down something in writing to say thank you to all those who comment here. If everyone is in a great battle (as Philo of Alexandria said, and "Anonymous" reminded me) then all these people are brothers and sisters in arms.
Let me start with Patricia from Nashville, whose comment got me thinking about all those who have left their kind words here on NFB. Patricia, we're in this together. Next workout, your name's written on my hand. Stay in touch.
Mom & Dad, Jodie, Sarah, Jane, Lisa & Yves, Lisa.... I know you're the ones out there reading this nearly every day (or sometimes many times a day!). Thank you so much. It means the world to me. Jodie, Sarah, and Lisa B., you three would love each other. And Jane, I got the GF booklet, thanks!
Beth: Sorry, but you can't actually pre-order a calendar. Of course I'll put the info up here as soon as it's available, probably late in the year.
To all the CFers out there: Gio, Adam and Caity, C_Mel, Charles, Wilson, Rocco, Matt, Mike L., Paul, StrengthDoc, Adam K., 1000yds, U'i. I know my name has been written on your hands, sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively, and I take strength from that. You all have much to give and I give thanks in return.
Morgan and Salima: truer healing words are rarely spoken.
Hebe, Pam, Teri, David & Priya, Chris & Marie, Larry & Roula, Peter & Leslie, Ed, Sara, Rob L., Kim, Marianne, Tracey, Wanda, Jen M., Maria, "The Other Jean", Bronwen, Pete/Lree/Ben, Jamey, Nico, Jason, Robb, Dave. Thank you all. Roberta, thank you for Churchill's immortal, inspirational words. Here they are again, in case anyone missed them.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
How to salvage a messed-up day
Prednisone is hitting me harder this time around. I'm moody. Yesterday I basically told Anna, "Don't touch me, don't talk to me." That kept me from being too annoyed with her (through absolutely no fault of her own) but it didn't make her too happy. But we bounced through that day with only a few scrapes and bruises.
This afternoon we went out for a ski to the Jesse Lake trails. Our mistake was skiing there right from home, across the windswept expanse of the lake, rather than driving to the beginning of the trail. Well, then her back was hurting, and she was tired, and she was thirsty, and she wanted to know, 'are we were there yet,' and I made the grievous mistake of calling her 'slowpoke' once (I was being pulled by the dog with the ski-jor harness at the time). Anyway, we stopped in at drop-dead gorgeous Little Jesse Lake for a rest and some hot cocoa. Then we started skiing again, and Anna started to complain about the wind. She tells me that at this point I was too quick with my dirty look, because she was about to say how beautiful and sheltered it was in the trees. But I mouthed off something true, but ill-advised, basically saying, "Shaddap, I'm trying to have a nice day and all you're doing is complaining. Maybe if you had cancer you'd appreciate the cold wind biting your cheeks. Reminds you that you're alive."
Remember my first cancer post? I said something about raindrops falling down the back of my neck.
Then I skiied on, and considered just skiing all the way home without waiting for her. Of course, I didn't. I told myself, "No, she's my sweetie, I love her, I'll stop in a sheltered place and we'll work this thing out." And that's what we did. She was crying. She told me how I'd misread her earlier. I apologized. She apologized for being a wet blanket. We kissed and made up. Then we continued the ski, all the way home, even across the windswept expanse of the lake. We finished the day by heading up to New Liskeard for a date! Spicy Thai curries and a movie (Emotional Arithmetic) at the Temiskaming Film Society.
And that's how to salvage a messed-up day.
This afternoon we went out for a ski to the Jesse Lake trails. Our mistake was skiing there right from home, across the windswept expanse of the lake, rather than driving to the beginning of the trail. Well, then her back was hurting, and she was tired, and she was thirsty, and she wanted to know, 'are we were there yet,' and I made the grievous mistake of calling her 'slowpoke' once (I was being pulled by the dog with the ski-jor harness at the time). Anyway, we stopped in at drop-dead gorgeous Little Jesse Lake for a rest and some hot cocoa. Then we started skiing again, and Anna started to complain about the wind. She tells me that at this point I was too quick with my dirty look, because she was about to say how beautiful and sheltered it was in the trees. But I mouthed off something true, but ill-advised, basically saying, "Shaddap, I'm trying to have a nice day and all you're doing is complaining. Maybe if you had cancer you'd appreciate the cold wind biting your cheeks. Reminds you that you're alive."
Remember my first cancer post? I said something about raindrops falling down the back of my neck.
Then I skiied on, and considered just skiing all the way home without waiting for her. Of course, I didn't. I told myself, "No, she's my sweetie, I love her, I'll stop in a sheltered place and we'll work this thing out." And that's what we did. She was crying. She told me how I'd misread her earlier. I apologized. She apologized for being a wet blanket. We kissed and made up. Then we continued the ski, all the way home, even across the windswept expanse of the lake. We finished the day by heading up to New Liskeard for a date! Spicy Thai curries and a movie (Emotional Arithmetic) at the Temiskaming Film Society.
And that's how to salvage a messed-up day.
Temagami and Home Again (a post from Bob's Mom)
As all you blog followers know, Anna has been in Toronto for a little over a week - the stay being extended in part because of the major snow storms that city has received in the last while. Joe and I travelled to Temagami last Wednesday and got Bob safely to New Liskeard and back on Thursday when he received his 5th chemo treatment. It was a long day starting at 6 am and ending about 9:30 pm. I can't remember when I last went to bed at 9:30 but this day was all about helping Bob conquer the cancer demon so he made the early bedtime call. We were back in Temagami about 5:00 and the aroma of supper was evident as we opened the door. Bob, being the ever-inventive cook, had elected to put a chicken into the slow cooker along with some proscuitto, lots of onion and some white wine before we left. Now, we only had to do some rice and a veggie and supper was on the table. Even though he was feeling the effects of too many drugs in his system, he was still able to eat a very good supper and wasn't bothered with any nausea. Even by this morning, he had not had to take any of the anti-nauseants although he always has them at the ready.
Friday was a quiet day; went for a walk to the bank and the post office and Bob did go for a short ski on the Jesse Lake trails. Nikita went along, too. I'm sure she was very pleased to be taken for a long walk as she had not been anywhere the day before. Anna arrived home that evening and was so happy to be there. This was the first treatment Bob received that she had missed and she wasn't feeling too good about that happening. However, we had convinced her that it was better to stay in Toronto an extra day and wait out this storm. With Anna back in Temagami, Joe and I prepared to come home on Saturday morning.
After packing and breakfast at the Busy Bee restaurant, we set out fully expecting to run into the next storm coming through as we had checked out the Weather Network. Various accumulations of new snow was forecast for locales between Temagami and Peterborough. We did experience wet snow and lots of slop and slush from oncoming vehicles but, all in all, the drive was uneventful and we arrived home to a driveway with a good 12" of snow in it and the only tracks in the snow were those of our 17 resident wild turkeys. As I write this, we are not completely dug out. I cleared the decks and one is covered again with snow that has slid off the roof. Joe still has a lot of driveway clearing to do with the snow blower. The car did not get into the garage tonight. This will still be there in the morning and we will tackle it with renewed energy.
Friday was a quiet day; went for a walk to the bank and the post office and Bob did go for a short ski on the Jesse Lake trails. Nikita went along, too. I'm sure she was very pleased to be taken for a long walk as she had not been anywhere the day before. Anna arrived home that evening and was so happy to be there. This was the first treatment Bob received that she had missed and she wasn't feeling too good about that happening. However, we had convinced her that it was better to stay in Toronto an extra day and wait out this storm. With Anna back in Temagami, Joe and I prepared to come home on Saturday morning.
After packing and breakfast at the Busy Bee restaurant, we set out fully expecting to run into the next storm coming through as we had checked out the Weather Network. Various accumulations of new snow was forecast for locales between Temagami and Peterborough. We did experience wet snow and lots of slop and slush from oncoming vehicles but, all in all, the drive was uneventful and we arrived home to a driveway with a good 12" of snow in it and the only tracks in the snow were those of our 17 resident wild turkeys. As I write this, we are not completely dug out. I cleared the decks and one is covered again with snow that has slid off the roof. Joe still has a lot of driveway clearing to do with the snow blower. The car did not get into the garage tonight. This will still be there in the morning and we will tackle it with renewed energy.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Back in the cancer trenches
Yesterday I felt great. Top of my game. Today, not so much.
Mom and Dad arrived yesterday afternoon. (Remember, Anna's been down in Toronto for a week now.) I had enough time to say 'hello' to them before I had to be off to North Bay. Had to pick up my car after some brake work (unexpected repairs, hefty bill). Then I went to Station 1 for a little workout:
Push Jerk 3-3-3-3-3 (55 lbs/95/115/125/135)
Last night was the monthly union meeting. I wanted to say a personal thank you to my union brothers for supporting me and my family with trade days, bank time, well wishes, and carrying the load when it became too much of a burden for me. Everyone who knows me knows that I am pretty independent and I like to do things myself. I don't like to ask for help. I guess a lot of firefighters are like that, so they recognized that in me and offered their assistance without me having to ask. So I wanted to say thanks. I also wanted to thank them for their generous donations to the Ride to Conquer Cancer. We set a target of $800. At last count, it was $795 with some money still to come in. That money will go a long way toward helping Lisa and Jodie meet their overall target of $5700. (I think they can surpass that, too.)
Made it home by 9:30ish, but didn't turn the lights out until after 11:00. Then I was up at 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. Why is it that when your alarm goes off at 6:00, after tossing and turning for three hours, suddenly you pass out stone cold? Maybe next time I'll set my alarm for the middle of the night so I can get some good shut eye during the 'snooze'.
Prednisone pills, breakfast, then three of us piled into the car. Blood work was good (white blood cells could be a touch higher), and then I was comfy in my chemo chair for the next seven hours. Lynn was busy as always, juggling two of us in there for the day, two others for a half day, and other drop-ins getting ports flushed and the like. I keep telling her to wear a pedometre and tell me how many steps she does a day. Way over 10 thousand, I'm sure.
I napped through most of the day. The more chemos under my belt, the longer the naps become. Last time I napped for half the day, this time I had a good nap in the morning and a good one late in the day. You know, when you count up all the drugs that have gone into me today..... prednisone, tylenol, benedryl, rituximab, granisitron (sounds like one of the Transformers, not an anti-nauseant), vincristine, doxorubicin (the Red Devil), and cyclophosphamide..... Eight drugs, coursing through my veins. No wonder I feel toxic right now. I feel pale, green. I am sleepy. Time to brush my teeth and go to bed.
Not bad for someone who had absolutely no clue what I'd be writing when I sat down to this post.
Mom and Dad arrived yesterday afternoon. (Remember, Anna's been down in Toronto for a week now.) I had enough time to say 'hello' to them before I had to be off to North Bay. Had to pick up my car after some brake work (unexpected repairs, hefty bill). Then I went to Station 1 for a little workout:
Push Jerk 3-3-3-3-3 (55 lbs/95/115/125/135)
Last night was the monthly union meeting. I wanted to say a personal thank you to my union brothers for supporting me and my family with trade days, bank time, well wishes, and carrying the load when it became too much of a burden for me. Everyone who knows me knows that I am pretty independent and I like to do things myself. I don't like to ask for help. I guess a lot of firefighters are like that, so they recognized that in me and offered their assistance without me having to ask. So I wanted to say thanks. I also wanted to thank them for their generous donations to the Ride to Conquer Cancer. We set a target of $800. At last count, it was $795 with some money still to come in. That money will go a long way toward helping Lisa and Jodie meet their overall target of $5700. (I think they can surpass that, too.)
Made it home by 9:30ish, but didn't turn the lights out until after 11:00. Then I was up at 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. Why is it that when your alarm goes off at 6:00, after tossing and turning for three hours, suddenly you pass out stone cold? Maybe next time I'll set my alarm for the middle of the night so I can get some good shut eye during the 'snooze'.
Prednisone pills, breakfast, then three of us piled into the car. Blood work was good (white blood cells could be a touch higher), and then I was comfy in my chemo chair for the next seven hours. Lynn was busy as always, juggling two of us in there for the day, two others for a half day, and other drop-ins getting ports flushed and the like. I keep telling her to wear a pedometre and tell me how many steps she does a day. Way over 10 thousand, I'm sure.
I napped through most of the day. The more chemos under my belt, the longer the naps become. Last time I napped for half the day, this time I had a good nap in the morning and a good one late in the day. You know, when you count up all the drugs that have gone into me today..... prednisone, tylenol, benedryl, rituximab, granisitron (sounds like one of the Transformers, not an anti-nauseant), vincristine, doxorubicin (the Red Devil), and cyclophosphamide..... Eight drugs, coursing through my veins. No wonder I feel toxic right now. I feel pale, green. I am sleepy. Time to brush my teeth and go to bed.
Not bad for someone who had absolutely no clue what I'd be writing when I sat down to this post.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Life is too short
Found this on the Canadian Canoe Routes forum. I added #40:
Here's 41 Tips for a Powerful New Year !
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to___________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.
6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, qigong and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Do the right thing!
37. Call your mother and father often.
38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for__________.' Today I accomplished_________.
39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40. Life is too short to drink bad coffee.
41. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride
Here's 41 Tips for a Powerful New Year !
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to___________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.
6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, qigong and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Do the right thing!
37. Call your mother and father often.
38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for__________.' Today I accomplished_________.
39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40. Life is too short to drink bad coffee.
41. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride
Monday, February 4, 2008
Humble Pie
Ok, ok, so New England tanked. Personally, I blame myself for their loss. Guaranteed, if I had backed the 'underdog' New York Giants, the Pats would've won. It seems I always end up on the losing side. Except for what really counts, the Super Bowl of Cancer.
On the positive side, fundraising efforts amongst the North Bay Firefighters are going well. I won't release any dollar amounts at this time, but I will say that we're on track to surpass the $800 we hoped to raise from them. That will go a long way toward the goal of $5700 that Lisa and Jodie have set for themselves. Jodie is a fundraising machine, with numerous events planned in the Peterborough area. She's passed the $1700 mark, and that's before any of the fundraising events! Lisa has not let her late start hold her back, with almost $1000 in the pot. Thanks to everyone that's made a donation so far! I do truly hope that some of you blog readers, whether you live in North Bay or St. Catherines or further afield, will make it to the Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers concert on May 9 & 10 in Peterborough. Tickets are going fast, and are available through Jodie. Contact her through her webpage. She is a personal trainer and runs a business called Your Body You in Lakefield.
There's also some media interest in North Bay. Everyone loves a story about, "a firefighter who's in a courageous battle for his life," even if that's a little cliched. I hope to use any story to further the fundraising and get a little good press for the firefighters.
I've not been posting my workouts here as often as I should've. I'm doing a 'workout lite' week, to recover from last week's sore back. Today was backsquat 3-3-3-3-3 (95 lbs/115/135/155/165). That's 2/3 of my max. effort backsquat of 245 lbs.
On the positive side, fundraising efforts amongst the North Bay Firefighters are going well. I won't release any dollar amounts at this time, but I will say that we're on track to surpass the $800 we hoped to raise from them. That will go a long way toward the goal of $5700 that Lisa and Jodie have set for themselves. Jodie is a fundraising machine, with numerous events planned in the Peterborough area. She's passed the $1700 mark, and that's before any of the fundraising events! Lisa has not let her late start hold her back, with almost $1000 in the pot. Thanks to everyone that's made a donation so far! I do truly hope that some of you blog readers, whether you live in North Bay or St. Catherines or further afield, will make it to the Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers concert on May 9 & 10 in Peterborough. Tickets are going fast, and are available through Jodie. Contact her through her webpage. She is a personal trainer and runs a business called Your Body You in Lakefield.
There's also some media interest in North Bay. Everyone loves a story about, "a firefighter who's in a courageous battle for his life," even if that's a little cliched. I hope to use any story to further the fundraising and get a little good press for the firefighters.
I've not been posting my workouts here as often as I should've. I'm doing a 'workout lite' week, to recover from last week's sore back. Today was backsquat 3-3-3-3-3 (95 lbs/115/135/155/165). That's 2/3 of my max. effort backsquat of 245 lbs.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
You can leave your hat on
Not much to report today. I'm working nights. Anna's in Toronto this week. I've been hard at work lately on local environmental issues, preparing comments for the upcoming Forestry Plan. Trying to rest my back after wrenching it two days ago. Probably take the dog for a walk soon, and do some light stretching. Maybe a light workout when I get to work tonight.
Oh, I know what I can mention.... Some guys at work are planning a North Bay Fire Department 2009 Calendar. They want me in it. So I'll try out that little 'poll' option that Blogger gives me. Let me know, do you think I should be in the Firefighter's Calendar? Answer in the poll to the right. (It's all for a good cause, to support a new Children's Treatment Centre.)
(Cue "The Full Monty" soundtrack.)
PS Go Pats!
Oh, I know what I can mention.... Some guys at work are planning a North Bay Fire Department 2009 Calendar. They want me in it. So I'll try out that little 'poll' option that Blogger gives me. Let me know, do you think I should be in the Firefighter's Calendar? Answer in the poll to the right. (It's all for a good cause, to support a new Children's Treatment Centre.)
(Cue "The Full Monty" soundtrack.)
PS Go Pats!
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