My life is a dichotomy. Outwardly (and mostly inwardly) I'm happy. I feel great. I have the most wonderful son and the most wonderful wife. I'm doing things I've always wanted to do. I love my job. I love riding my bike. (I've crossed the $2000 line in my fundraising for the Ride to Conquer Cancer?!)
But on the other side is this nagging two week wait between when Dr. Herst told me I have elevated liver enzymes and when I find out what it all means. At least when I first got my diagnosis it was very sudden. I honestly had not been expecting to hear that I have cancer. But this waiting.... I honestly don't know what to expect. I feel great, but I felt great the day I got my original diagnosis too.
This week I've had another CT scan. Next week it's more blood tests. Then the day after I go see Dr. Herst. He'll either tell me that the cancer has spread or that the elevated enzymes are due to some other factor. I've got so much weird shit going on that I'd make a fascinating case study for House. Cancer. Possibly celiac. Possibly a primary immuno-deficiency disorder. Yet outwardly I look strong and healthy, in the prime of my life. Who can understand it?
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5 comments:
Holy crap! That is a lot to deal with. Sending you strength and love. You can count on us for a donation for the ride.
Lots of love, yer seester-in-law and the whole fandamily
Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts! I ask "Dad" to whatch over you, Anna and Matty. I hope to read good news when you get your results. Keep us all posted!
All my love to you all!
Nina...(and all my gang)
Sending you strength and peace of mind hon. I wish I could be 'there' for you right now ... please know I am 'here' for you!!
hebe
Unfair! you hardly had a chance to catch your breath before having to worry again! When is the two weeks up? Fingers crossed, love to you all, from Jane
Thanks all. It means a lot!
We go back to oncologist next Wed April 29.
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