Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Chemo #2 tomorrow

I have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow to take my prednisone. Then I'll spike my hair one last time. I'm buzzing it all off Thursday. It's falling out, and I don't want to see it get patchy.

Anna and I will leave here around 7:45. Blood work at 8:30 at the lab in New Liskeard. That's for the serum copper. The naturopath wants to investigate my zinc/copper balance. Dr. Roedde (she fills in when Dr. Goddard is away and has been following my situation from the beginning--she was the first doctor to feel the lump and decide I needed to see a specialist) thinks concerning myself with micronutrients is a bit much, but was willing to give me the requisition. Then at 9:30 I check in for chemo #2. More blood work, to see where my white blood cells are at. If they're high enough, I get the go-ahead for chemo. If they're not high enough, I get to wait a few more days. Delay is not good when you're talking chemotherapy. But I feel good (fatigue is one sign of low WBC counts) so I don't think that will be an issue.

Thanks, Mom, for the encouragement! I like the thought that after tomorrow I'm 25% done the treatments!

I had my session with Aline today. She started off with a little massage (which felt great) but she said her hands were telling her not to rub me. Then she said that she was feeling that she should send me on my way, that perhaps I needed to be doing other things. She's a mystic healer, remember, so we need to pay attention to these types of thoughts and feelings. (Dr. Roedde isn't so hot on micronutrients, but she thinks Aline is right on the money--she even sees Aline herself.) Then Aline and I got talking, she holding her hands over my body, myself laying on the massage table with my eyes closed. We did some visualization work. She said she saw 'wise men' or guides standing around me, bringing me a gift that I could open later, when I am ready. I tried to keep the 'babe in a manger' idea at bay. What is the gift? Some sort of 'wisdom,' no doubt. Some days I think I've soaked in all the wisdom I can stand, and that I'd rather leave my character-building lessons for someone else. Aline told me to look at my cancer as a pebble in the road. I told her that I look at it more as a muddy stretch, with no end in sight. Maybe the mud ends just around the next corner? Maybe not? She also told me to remember that I am in charge of me. I may not be in control of all that goes on around me, but I can control my actions and reactions. Then I started visualizing myself as General and Private in a Peaceful-Army-of-One. A peaceful warrior. I like that.

And so Aline didn't send me on my way early. But she did give me a coupon for a visit to the pool and sauna at the Quality Inn. So, after running a few errands (and "living in the now" for each one) I headed off for a swim and sauna. That was nice. I sat there in the sauna, 110 C, sweat pouring out, visualizing all the toxins leaving my body. Thanks, Aline!

One final note. Thanks, Jane, for the wonderful card and gift. Have a wonderful time in Columbia. Say hi to Sarah for us!

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