Sunday, December 23, 2007

Denial

Four days to chemo. I picked up my prednisone today. I'm in Denial. I'm at the top of my game. I feel great. I've been at work the last two days, and will be there the next two (including Christmas Day). We even had a little house fire today and I felt fine, no shortness of breath, no weakness, no nausea, even while on air and hauling a hoseline and axe through the house. I've done difficult workouts today and yesterday. Today was 3 rounds for time of 50 x 75 lb. sumo deadlift high pulls and 30 x 75 lb. bench presses. Time was 26:03. I've been eating well too. I've not had any gluten or dairy in the last 3 days and haven't had any problems with that, no hunger, no dizziness. It's basically the Paleo Diet, i.e. I eat the way the cavemen ate.

All this adds up to living in denial. I'll be starting the drugs in 4 days. I'll feel like crap for a week or more. The cancer books say not to look at chemo as the enemy, but to remember that cancer is the opponent. Chemo is my ally. Chemo will save my life. But it's hard to keep that front and centre.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is it denial or just a way of living...? I have learned you can get on living or get on dying. Every person whether sick or well can live to be well or live to be sick. You are definately living to be well, you take your lumps when they come your way (lately a little more often than the average) and when the week or more is over than you get back on the wonderful horse of life and get back on it. If nothing else that will beat your cancer faster than just laying around and waiting for the next symptom. You are doing so damn awesome!! Keep up the great work!
Merry Christmas to the both of you! Have lots of snuggles and family time! Hopefully no one has a fire on this wonderful holiday and you can hang out with a great group of guys, laugh a lot and then go home to some great (but limited in variety) food!! Eat caveman eat!!

Anonymous said...

BTW: The last comment was sent by Jodie!!! I can only do things anonymously with the signing in thingy... haha!