Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tomorrow is my last chemo (ever) ! ! !
I'm usually of the 'never-say-never' philosophy, but in this case I'm okay with saying that tomorrow, #8, will be my final chemotherapy session. No qualifications. I'm of mixed emotions - not that I will miss the nausea, diarrhea, sleeplessness, hair loss, fatigue, and crabbiness. On one hand, I will not miss those things at all. I will not miss having lymphoma at all. But on the other, I'm not looking forward to the next week. The doctors say that the effects of chemotherapy are not cumulative, but they are in me. The day after my first chemo I deadlifted a personal record (at the time) of 335 lbs. I won't be attempting the same on Friday. One thing about cancer, no two are the same, no two people have the same cancer experience. So I expect the next week to be rough. Hopefully this isn't a self-fulfilling prophesy. But each morning when I wake up feeling better than the day before, I'll know that I'm on the mend. And then the long five year wait begins. I don't like to think of it as a wait, though. Wait implies that something will happen. Nothing will happen. Let's call it five years of confirming continued good health.